Book Review: “It’s Not Okay” By Andi Dorfman

I have a few little guilty pleasures, and one of them is The Bachelor/Bachelorette TV show – ain’t no shame in my game! I currently don’t have cable  (boo!), so my curiosity for current seasons is fed by Reality Steve, Us Weekly updates and by watching things unfold via social media. I did get to watch Andi on The Bachelor with Juan Pablo and then go on to her own season right after. I am guilty of being fascinated by the concept of this dating show – I mean a train wreck waiting to happen, right?
When I saw Andi had a book coming out I wasn’t clamoring in line to get it, however on an app to sell clothes, I saw someone was selling it for dirt cheap. How could a girl resist? There had been a very public breakup between her and her fiancé Josh, whom she met on the show. Just like any “celebrity” couple, there wasn’t much in the way of explanation as to why the two split. On interviews, appearances and social media, they looked deliriously happy. So why the split? My mind clamored for info. This book was the key!

If you are familiar with Ms. Dorfman, she is a cheeky, outspoken, southern girl who isn’t afraid to speak her mind or overuse the contraction “ya’ll.” Andi writes just exactly as she speaks, which is a great talent for a writer – I could picture her southern drawl speaking the words on the page. It was as if she was speaking to a friend – complete with inner dialogue and some choice swear words.

Breakups, we’ve all been there. To read about someone constantly under public scrutiny and how they personally dealt with a split, was interesting. Many saw the smiles in the media, however did not have any insight as to actually what went wrong with the couple. Insight into her personal narrative was honest and refreshing. She also wasn’t shy about her love for wine!

Watching the show and seeing Josh and Andi’s relationship unfold, I couldn’t help but scream at the TV – don’t pick the dang athlete! In her monologues she mentioned always choosing the same “type” of guy, then being treated the same way by them. In her book, she admitted she glazed over all the red flags flying, which is humbling. Most of us can relate.

Despite her angry and upset tone for most of the book, at the end she sounded hopeful. Dorfman’s “It’s Not Okay” can be used as a survival guide for breakups, the recovery steps in summation: cry, eat, cry and eat some more, burn your ex’s belongings, relapse, then move on. Amen.

All-in-all, a quick, easy read and the book definitely pulled its weight in regards to entertainment value, especially where she dishes the weird details of her Fantasy Suite date with Nick Viall aka “Number Twenty Five.” Just keep in mind, if you ever dated a jerk – you may get a case of déjà vu. Readers take caution.

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