When someone said, “look at that beautiful girl” I knew they weren’t talking about me. Painfully and irrevocably skinny, untamed curls, glasses as thick as a post it, and teeth protruding in different directions – as if trying to escape my tiny mouth. I knew they weren’t talking about me.
“Does the ugly duckling even know they are considered ugly? No, they just stay in line and try their best to survive.”
At the tender age of 13, I was relentlessly teased and bullied. The words were harsh and frequent, inescapable. I never wondered why I wasn’t more attractive, does the ugly duckling even know they are considered ugly? No, they just stay in line and try their best to survive.
Without a lovely face, I had to find other ways to engage with people. One great way was laughter. To be funny and use humor as an emotional shield, but also a gateway. A gateway which led others to get to know me. My personality was developed over time, and without the element of physical beauty, in my mind I had to work even harder to compensate. Making people laugh, to this day, is still something I love to do.
My personality was my salvation, my savior. I learned early on the importance of being kind, and most often the prettiest of girls were not the kindest. For those self-professed ugly ducklings out there, you undoubtedly know the struggle. The heartache and the pain of being teased. We cling to our mothers, who tell us we are the most gorgeous creatures to ever walk the earth. As adults we rise above, we grow into our own, and we survive. To become kind, with a good heart, to do something great in the world, that was my determination and my will.
Becoming a beautiful woman was not even in my periphery, it was never even second thought. I hope to be a person of class, grace and kindness. I accept my face, but it doesn’t define me. What defines me is who I am, the way I treat people, and my small imprint of love in the world. I am a fighter, a survivalist – I can only hope my future children will be too.
Originally posted on Healthy Living dedicated to a healthy body, mind, and soul.