At a time of thankfulness—and with the holiday season approaching—I thought it would be a nice time to share one of my favorite interviews. In 2013, Oprah sat down with Thich Nhat Hanh, a revered spiritual leader; he provided some very moving words. Although I saw this interview on TV a few years ago, the words still resonate with me daily. Thich Nhat Hanh is a buddhist monk who shares his philosophy on peace and love with the world. One portion of the interview I found most fascinating were these two mantras; hhe explains them fully:
The first mantra is “Darling, I’m here for you.” When you love someone, the best you can offer is your presence. You look into their eyes and you say, “Darling, you know something? I’m here for you.” You offer him or her your presence. You are not preoccupied with the past or the future; you are there for your beloved.
The second mantra is, “Darling, I know you are there and I am so happy.” Because you are fully there, you recognize the presence of your beloved as something very precious. You embrace your beloved with mindfulness. And he or she will bloom like a flower. To be loved means to be recognized as existing. And these two mantras can bring happiness right away.
I mean, wow. “Darling, I am here for you.” Gosh, wouldn’t we all love to hear that?! He makes such a great statement here about being present. I know there are a lot of “gift guides” out there about what to buy your friends, family, significant other but really, the best thing you can offer is your presence. Being present in the moment and fully appreciating your loved ones. Hahn makes sure to mention not being preoccupied with the past. This is imperative and something that is easier said than done, yet to be present we must be in the now.
His second point is just as powerful; acknowledging when someone is there and fully in the moment with you. Tell your loved ones when they do something mindful for you, “That makes me so happy.” Sharing in that happiness together is wonderful. The point of this mantra, as he states, is to recognize the greatness in your loved one.
Hahn goes on to say:
…When you love someone, you want to share everything with him or her. So it is your duty to say, “I suffer and I want you to know”—and he will, she will, appreciate it.
If you are hurting, in any kind of way, tell your loved ones. I know this can be hard, to admit you are hurting or suffering, but your family, friends or significant other will appreciate knowing your struggle. It can be very easy to bottle everything up and let is fester, but don’t.